I walk past the infinity pool on the way back to my room but it's empty.
Last night a crew of us were having the time of our lives admiring volcanoes and sunsets while swimming in the pool for hours.
Two nights ago I spend hours at a bar with energy. Live music, people coming and going and long chats with a kindred spirit.
Tonight it was quiet and deserted.
I walk a long way to find a party bar with pool tables that turns out to be empty. A few hours later there is a fun bunch of backpackers from all over the world playing killer pool and talking about their travels and adventures. Empty at one moment in time. Overflowing with energy later on.
Lightning doesn't often strike twice. You might be a storm hunter who is looking to replicate the same trick.
It never works out that way.
I've spent many days of holiday life in a sleepy tropical place that I love - Sanur, Bali.
I went back for one night on my own recently and it just wasn't the same.
Hundreds of hours of memories with others. My various family members were there to share their energy over the years.
Alone, I could still enjoy it, but I was searching for some energy. I was never to find those same memories without the energy of others.
Like a wolf wandering down a lonely street howling, we can look to replicate a feeling by searching for it, but it will never be quite the same again.
Many years ago I lived in an area of London called Fulham and was a barman at a local party bar. Not only did I meet dozens of wonderful people that I worked with, but there was knowing, almost celebrity looks with people walking down the street that you became familiar with who were regulars at the bar.
I remember revisiting Fulham six months later after my work friends and I had all moved on and the energy was gone. No familiarity, only strangers. Like Michael Jackson's song 'Stranger In Moscow.'
I was wandering in the rain
Mask of life, feelin' insane
Swift and sudden fall from grace
Sunny days seem far away
What I find again and again is that human search for joy and connection.
Going back to that same well seems a natural approach - like a dog going back to where he last enjoyed a juicy bone.
The energy of others is often where we find joy.
The real superpower is in our own energy and our ability to seek novel, joyful experiences with it wherever we may be.
I hung out with a couple of lively Aussie lads in Kuta on the beach last week. A beach I've enjoyed all sorts of energy over the years.
I've seen my sons as toddlers on the beach. Partied as a young guy in my twenties. Hung out with my parents and enjoyed the sunset.
The Aussie lads and I had a lot of fun over two nights, chatting shit and enjoying the beautiful beach and surroundings, with a lot of laughs.
The energy I brought was my own and there was the added energy of these joyful newcomers.
The energy of others is contagious. When you are with a good crowd it grows exponentially. When you are with a negative crowd, it gets taken away.
When your energy is good on your own, you tend to only attract others that match it.
When you stumble across those not matching the same energy as yourself, deep down you'll know it too.
Life is about trying to find the right balance between guarding your energy from energy vampires, while also sharing and exchanging energy with positive pourers (those overflowing their cup with good energy).
It’s also about learning to be alright on your own too. Comfortable in your own skin. Happy with your own energy. In the end it’s all we’ve got.
“Within you, there is a stillness and a sanctuary to which you can retreat at any time and be yourself.” — Hermann Hesse
I’ve also found this to be true within Substack. Finding my niche, my sense of belonging with a certain audience, or an author who attracts like minded folk. When it works, we just “get” each other. It’s magical.