The Rise Of The Suburban Kardashian Mum

Do fish lips and frozen faces equal happiness?

She saunters along the walkway. Looking stunning as always. Her designer dress provokes whispers amongst the onlookers. Trendy sunglasses are so on point. Forehead frozen in place - wrinkles and expressions are both unwelcome on such a stunning face. I could be talking about Kim Kardashian at New York fashion week, but I’m not - this is a day to day occurrence at your average Australian suburban school pick up, where there is a growing breed of designer mummies, showing their fashionista wares to the world.

Is the rise in average Jane women dolling themselves up for mundane activities a positive sign that they are looking after themselves? Or is there a possibility that the arrival of Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat and Tiktok have created a class of women with alarmingly growing narcissistic qualities?

There has been a massive upswing in the past few years in clinics offering a whole suite of skin rejuvenation services - namely botox, fillers and lip plumpers (creating those pucker up lips). The recipients of these services spend hundreds of dollars at regular intervals to create what they think is a sophisticated and sassy woman (just like Kim K). To an egoist, porn obsessed man this is probably a hot look. To any man with a bone of authenticity the finished look is that of a horror show. It is like watching a real life version of The Emperors New Clothes playing out - maybe these women all tell each other how hot they look, the more work they get done. It’s a vicious cycle with no end in sight, but in a fake world, fake looks are desirable.

You’d have to be living under a rock if you haven’t heard the mantra “Do what makes you happy”. On the surface this sounds punchy and positive, I mean who doesn’t want to feel happy. The problem with this philosophy is happiness is an emotion and it’s fleeting. Maybe getting pumped full of antidepressants or micro-dosing on MDMA could artificially induce constant happiness, but otherwise life just doesn’t always work that way. Trying to mentally change your state to being happy is like trying to make the ocean always be calm.

I think the rise in women changing their physical appearance could be linked to this philosophy. “If I just get some injections between my eyes, I won’t look so angry, I’ll look happy or at least pleasantly surprised. If I get ‘perfect’ boobs, then I’ll be happy. If I get lips that look like a fish, then I’ll be happy”…. But happiness is fleeting and so is the longevity of most of these procedures, so like a heroin addict, these vanity obsessed dames trundle back to the clinic for another fix.

Do you want to know what the biggest secret about this all is? The happiest women I know look within themselves to find happiness, not some external validation through vain and pain filled pursuits. If you’re constantly trying to make yourself appear perfect to anyone and everyone, angling for a nice comment or a longing look, that doesn’t sound much like happiness - it sounds more like insanity.

Hopefully, like the perm was popular into the 80s, this trend will eventually run it’s course too. In a fake obsessed Instagram filtered world, it’s a revolutionary act to be yourself. And subsequently, be happy.